This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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