We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
