this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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