Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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