Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well you can't waste a boner
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
