this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I believe in your delicious
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
