Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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