Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
did i just pee glitter
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