1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize