I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
