i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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