The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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