it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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