I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
