So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
