Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize