dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
