i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
