So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
