Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
