I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize