I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
someone threw a dead crab at me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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