ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
