Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
