i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Your tits are I can't wait for
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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