don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
