Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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