She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
