now i know why i became what i already was.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
