ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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