Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
