Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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