clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
