if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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