And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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