Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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