he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
