one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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