i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
