That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
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the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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