Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
