So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
