Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you never un-have a 4some
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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