The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
