Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
