So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
we're so committed to being not committed
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
