The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
