paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
