My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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