he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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