Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
this just has baby written all over it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There r osticjed everywhere
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
