i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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