id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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