Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
