So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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