You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
