yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
