She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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