Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
