Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
