Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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