i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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